


you're dying to try

by jaehyoons97



Series: There's something about him [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best friends kun and jungwoo, I'm in love with the simplicity of Lucas mind, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 17:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehyoons97/pseuds/jaehyoons97
Summary: So maybe Xuxi is horny. But that’s not a big deal. People get horny. And Xuxi is a person.





	you're dying to try

**Author's Note:**

> I actually thought about inserting smut in this series but I feel like it'll just ruin the plot for this story. We'll see if I'm ever going to write another sequel.

This is getting out of hand.

Xuxi finds himself waking up every morning to the idea of Doyoung’s lips on his; the weird, fuzzy feeling it elicits that wakes every fibre in his long limbs, and the way it produces a sense of comfort and warmth that reminds Xuxi of- of his old, dirty and shrunk varsity jacket back in Hong Kong. In a good way of course; it was his favorite jacket after all. 

Doyoung has become his new obsession now. He even goes to the extent of making use of every chance he gets to swoop in and steal a kiss from him. 

It’s not healthy. The Kiss  _ haunts  _ him.

“You have no sense of control,” Doyoung once told him when he casually snuck in a kiss at the backseat of the van amidst the snoring members and next to Jaehyun who was scrolling down his phone with his earphones in. Their manager never bothered to use the rearview mirror when he was driving so it was safe to say that he went away with it.

“Sorry,” Xuxi slightly pouted, despite not really feeling regretful. He had been true to his words when he’d said Doyoung’s lips were irresistible. He was even starting to think that Doyoung’s entire everything was irresistible. Like his eyes, for example. Those eyes were just captivating, especially when Doyoung laughed at something Xuxi said and those big, round eyes narrowed just a little bit and seemed to have this twinkle that lit up his whole face, augmenting his already handsome features. Xuxi found himself unable to resist that enchanting sparkle of those eyes. Or his broad shoulders that looked like they would go on forever. Or those collarbones, on which Xuxi loved to leave extra lingering kisses. His soft stomach. His small waist. His thighs- oh god his  _ thighs _ . Xuxi would  _ love  _ to squeeze those thighs in his hands and hear the sweet gasp coming out of Doyoung’s pretty mouth, and maybe some moans too if he squeezed a little higher, a little harder and a little closer to his-

“Not that I’m complaining,” Doyoung replied as he leaned his head on Xuxi’s shoulder, his thin fingers sliding into the spaces between Xuxi’s giant ones and making Xuxi’s heart jump.

“Oh yeah no, I understand,” Jungwoo said, voice disinterested, when Xuxi asked him if he possibly knew what was happening with him.

“Really?”

“Completely. You’re at the phase where your desire is growing to become even more rampant,” Jungwoo said, not tearing his gaze from his laptop, a Japanese drama playing on the screen. He only turned his head to look at Xuxi in the eyes when the younger didn’t respond. “You’re horny, Xuxi.”

So maybe Xuxi is horny. But that’s not a big deal. People get horny. And Xuxi is a person.

The more important problem at hand is how Doyoung seems to take up most of his mind, filling it with all sorts of fantasies that Xuxi wouldn’t even think of- they just pop into his head and take over the control system to his entire body.

“So the problem is Doyoung?” Kun had said when he switched to telling him. Jungwoo was a great friend, no doubt, but Xuxi needed actual, helpful suggestions and Kun was the one who could come up with them.

“Yes,” Xuxi said, agreeing too quickly before realizing how that actually sounded. He shook his head. “Not him,  _ me _ .  _ I’m _ the problem. I can’t stop thinking about him, about- about kissing him, about doing… all kinds of stuff with him like-”

“Ew, Xuxi don’t put the image in my head! He’s like a brother to me!”

“What image? What’s wrong with eating puddings with your brother?”

Kun looked at him in disbelief. “Puddings? You think about eating puddings with Doyoung?”

“Well, more specifically him feeding me puddings but yeah, that’s basically the big idea.”

It took Kun a good five seconds to stop staring at him before heaving out a big sigh. “Damn, Xuxi, you really got it bad.”

Xuxi nodded at that, defeated. Kun proceeded to pat him on his shoulder sympathetically.

“Do you possibly… You know, with all these things you’re experiencing. Do you, maybe-”

“Wait, no, don’t say it, Ge,” Xuxi said, curling his hands into fists and pressing them to his eyes over his eyelids. His heart was beating so hard, throbbing painfully beneath his rib cage and he had to concentrate to keep his breathing even. “If you say it then it’s probably true and I’m not ready to face that fact just yet.”

Kun only patted him again, trying to soothe the knot in his head, in his heart, and Xuxi almost felt bad when it didn’t work the least until Doyoung’s face appeared in his mind, Doyoung’s voice in his ears, saying everything was going to be okay, that it was all right to have all these- these feelings-

“Have I become boring?” Doyoung asks, detaching his lips and Xuxi himself from his intense thinking. The bed creaks under his shifting weight.

Xuxi feels lost without Doyoung’s lips on his, so he pulls him in again. “Never.”

“Wait, Xuxi,” Doyoung says, pulling away and smiling in amusement when Xuxi whines. So he gives him a peck. Another one. And another one. And more until Xuxi laughs.

Xuxi lets Doyoung play with the loose thread on the collar of his tee.

“I want to ask you something,” Doyoung says, voice soft but solemn and Xuxi can’t help but smile at that. He might not be fluent in Korean yet, but that arrangement of words feels _very_ Doyoung. Doyoung doesn’t ask. He states. “Why did you kiss me back then?”

Xuxi’s smile falters, realizing the answer to the question is what he’s been trying to bury in the back of his mind.

“You know, when you first kissed me you said something about my lips being kissable and-”

“I understand the question, hyung, don’t worry,” Xuxi says, aware of his tone so he wouldn’t sound aggressive.

Doyoung retracts his hands from his chest, however, but Xuxi is quick to capture them in his and settles them on his lap.

Xuxi thinks- he doesn’t have to, really. He’s got the answer at the tip of his tongue already. He only has to say it. It’s that simple. But also very, extremely, terrifying. So he settles for (what he thinks is) a safer answer. “Jungwoo-hyung said I’m lusting after you.”

Doyoung arches his eyebrows. “ _ Jungwoo _ said that?”

“Yes.”

“So you talked to him about me?”

“To him and Kun-ge.”

“Kun, too?”

“Yes,” Xuxi holds his breath. Doyoung sounds a little upset, and Xuxi has no idea what he’s said wrong. “Because. I need someone to talk to. About you.” Because he doesn’t trust his own brain to come up with a logical reason.

Doyoung sighs at that, albeit still letting Xuxi hold his hands. “Were you talking bad about me?”

“No, of course not, hyung. I say good things about you.” Xuxi swears, at this rate he’s hating himself for his limited Korean vocabulary.

Doyoung seems to be okay with his answer, but something still doesn’t settle right between them. “Well, why can’t you say it to my face then?”

Xuxi can’t find any words to answer that. It’s both his lacking of third (fourth? fifth?) language proficiency and inability to put this whole disaster of mixed feelings into words- he gets like that sometimes,  _ words  _ aren’t really his forte anyway, no matter the language- that hinder him from granting Doyoung a proper answer.

So he squeezes the older’s hands, makes sure to look into his eyes when he says, “I just can’t.”

The disappointment is evident on Doyoung’s face, and Xuxi thinks he mirrors the expression because he, _too_ , is disappointed in himself. He feels the need to say sorry, but he’s afraid of screwing up any further. It’s confusing. His mind is confusing. Everything is- it’s like Xuxi knows nothing anymore.

“I guess that’s fine, then,” Doyoung says, once again pulling Xuxi out of his destructive mind. He fixes the bangs on Xuxi’s forehead, as if rearranging Xuxi’s thoughts and helping him clear his head. It’s working. “If you’re lusting after me is as good as I’m going to ever get, I think I can live with that.”

Xuxi bites his lips. Although that’s not entirely wrong, that’s not what he wants Doyoung to think. 

“Hyung,” he says, just when Doyoung proceeds to press a kiss on the corner of his lips. He needs to straighten this out. Nevermind his chicken ass, Doyoung needs to know that he is so much more than an object of lust for him.

But Doyoung’s kiss is getting persistent; he won’t let go of Xuxi’s jaw when he pulls at his wrists and the small nibbles on his lower lip are turning into bites. None of Xuxi’s yelps are slowing Doyoung down, even; Doyoung is practically shoving his tongue down his throat and while maybe he’s seen this in one of his fantasies, it doesn’t feel quite nice-

Just yet, because Doyoung is now roaming his hands along the width of his chest, purposefully brushing his fingers against his clothed nipples as he continues to wander lower until he reaches the hem of his shirt. Xuxi gasps at that, shudders under Doyoung’s touch and grunts when Doyoung squeezes the skin of his hips. The heat rising to his face feels familiar.

He curls into himself when Doyoung doesn’t stop there; he lets his hands slide down further, and Xuxi has to stop focusing on the sweet, sweet graze of his nails just below his belly button to notice Doyoung slipping his hands under his jeans and cupping him over his brief.

Holy shit.

“Wait, hyung-”

Doyoung pulls away forcefully, beating his chest with his fist, the hit gentler than the swing. His eyebrows scrunched together, looking more frustrated than upset. “What do you want, Xuxi?”

Xuxi repeats the question silently:  _ What  _ does  _ he want, exactly? _

“You.” Xuxi swears, it just slips out.

It takes a moment for Doyoung to react, whereas Xuxi is still in the middle of rearranging the mess of the yet-spoken words on his tongue. The older pushes him down, bringing himself to tower over him and Xuxi panics- Doyoung has pushed his tee to expose his stomach, on which he presses open-mouthed kisses and little bites here and there while his hands are quick to work on unbuttoning Xuxi’s pants.

Holy fucking shit.

“Doyoung-hyung,” Xuxi moans as he reaches down to grab Doyoung’s wrists, just when his bulge is free from the suffocation of his jeans. “Before we do anything-”

“What now-” Doyoung starts to snap, but Xuxi has pushed himself back into a sitting position and taken hold of Doyoung’s hands so they don’t wander off again.

“Before we do anything,” Xuxi tries again, pushes himself to do so because he hates the shifting atmosphere between them. “I need you to know that I like you.”

A throng of Bad Scenarios play in his head as Xuxi braces himself in case one or  _ all  _ of them are to happen- from the fire alarm going off because his brain suddenly explodes from all this time overworking itself thinking about Doyoung even in his sleep, to Doyoung confessing that he’s actually heterosexual. But the dorm is still quiet, his face is burning but smoke isn’t coming out of his head, and there’s no sign of Doyoung ...going to say something at all.

“Say something,” Xuxi says, feeling his heart start to crumble as his fear takes over. His palms begin to sweat so he lets go of Doyoung’s hands.

The harshness on Doyoung’s face seems to abate. “Why didn’t you say so earlier,” he says, and the calm tone of his voice relaxes him a little.

“I was scared,” Xuxi shrugs. He still is, actually, what with all the tension and the rapid beating of his heart from which he could seriously  _ die _ .

“Why?”

“I was  _ scared _ .”

“No, I mean,” Doyoung laughs, scoots closer as if their knees weren’t already bumping before. He cups Xuxi’s face with one hand, entertains him with small strokes on his cheek. Xuxi lets himself lean into the older’s touch. “Why were you scared?”

Xuxi thinks of a way he could speak of his fear out loud without making it sound ridiculous, only to give up halfway because there’s no way he could romanticize his hopeless thinking. “You might not say it back.”

“Oh,” Doyoung breathes, he pinches Xuxi’s cheek adoringly. “Why would I not say it back?”

Again with the  _ why _ . Xuxi must like Doyoung so much that he doesn’t even find it irritating to brush off the question. But again, Xuxi is sort of bad at coming up with good reasons.

“Xuxi,” Doyoung says, quieter. Xuxi can’t bring himself to look away once his gaze locks with Doyoung’s. “ _ Why  _ would I not say it back?”

Xuxi is about to tell Doyoung to give him a moment, because he can’t concentrate thinking of a good reason with Doyoung smiling up so brilliantly at him like that and making him feel like he’s on top of the world, until he finally catches on with what Doyoung means.

“I don’t mind spelling it out for you,” Doyoung says, and Xuxi thinks the color of the sun is dark brown with a gleam just a little to the center.

“Please?” Xuxi asks, very nicely so in hopes of a reward later. He bats his eyes for a good measure, as if his face isn’t turning crimson red right now.

Doyoung takes his time: playing with the collar of Xuxi’s t-shirt, laughing when Xuxi moves his hands up to his neck and backing an invisible distance away to tease when Xuxi chases after his lips. When he finally says it, though, it’s after he gives in and kisses Xuxi long and deep that results in a pair of lidded eyes and small pants in the thick of their hot, mingled breaths.

“I like you, Xuxi.”

**Author's Note:**

> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/jaehyoons97) so you can inspire me with some prompts


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